Mail Tails

Everyone loves to get mail! But it seems that these days, most writers query and submit via email. This makes the process easier, saves paper, and saves time. In fact, most magazines and book publishers prefer electronic submissions, although some still prefer (and only accept) submissions by regular mail. Either way, it’s important to research – and to follow to the letter – the guidelines. You can usually find these (as well as publishers’ catalogues) online, which is awesome, by the way. Before you submit anything, however, check that you have the name of the current editor, as well as the correct spelling. We cannot emphasize this enough. People who don’t care enough to find out our names often call us Lassie, when it is clearly not possible – or logical – for both of us to be named Lassie, duh. Plus the original Lassie was a girl – a girl! Which brings us to the next point.

If you have any doubts whether the editor you’re submitting to is male or female, it’s worth it to make a quick, old-fashioned phone call. We dogs can sniff out those details, but we don’t recommend that humans use this technique. Jeanie’s editor, Randi Rivers, says she often gets submissions addressed to Mr. Randi Rivers, and we bet Ms. Randi doesn’t buy THEIR stories.

Here on the home front, people often assume that Nemo is a girl dog, just because he’s blonde, fine-boned and tends to prance around waving his tail. But if Nemo was an editor and you addressed your query to Ms. Nemo Ransom, or even worse, to Mrs. Nemo Ransom, we can tell you this, Nemo would NOT buy your story!

With the writing business largely being conducted via email these days, why does everyone still love to get mail? Apparently, we are mistaken. Jeanie says that NOT everyone loves the mail as much as we do. Although rejection slips generally are delivered electronically these days, about the only good stuff that the mail carrier brings anymore are royalty checks. At least according to Jeanie.

We beg to differ. Every day Ms. Sue, our mail carrier, puts two biscuits in our mailbox. And not just any biscuits – these are NAME BRAND dog biscuits – Milk Bones! All because one day, Ms. Sue saw us in the front office with Jeanie! Which is why, rain or shine, if we have our way, you’ll find us in the front office.